Blueprints to a healthy Relationship – The Framing
We all want strong marriages, friendships and families. We must use the right tools the right way to build up others.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
Ephesians 4:29-32 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another”
Unwholesome’ refers to words that:
- Tear down
- Rather than build up
When we use our tools improperly, we do more damage than good
Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. “
James 3:5-6 “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
Healthy relationships are built by people who choose the right tools – Words that strengthen, not scorch
James 1:19-21 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.”
Before you say something, ask yourself:
- Will this build?
- Will this bless?
- Will this strengthen?
- Will this help them stand in the storm?
Examples – What Not to say:
- You never
- You always
- What’s wrong with you
- You never change
Examples – What to say:
- I believe in you
- You matter
- I’m proud of you
- I love seeing what God is doing in you
When you make a mistake:
- Apologize
- Choose humility
- Forgive
- Be willing to rebuild and repair
The goal is to keep the end in mind – What are you wanting to help build them into?
Every word is building material; you are either:
- Constructing a shelter for someone else’s soul
- Burning down something that God is trying to build up
John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
