Marriages of the Bible:
Jacob and Rachel
- Abraham is from Ur
Genesis 11:27-31 “Terah became the father of Abram, Nahor and Haran. And Haran became the father of Lot. 28 While his father Terah was still alive, Haran died in Ur of the Chaldeans, in the land of his birth. 29 Abram and Nahor both married. The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai, and the name of Nahor’s wife was Milkah; she was the daughter of Haran, the father of both Milkah and Iskah. 30 Now Sarai was childless because she was not able to conceive.
31 Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan. But when they came to Harran, they settled there.”
Genesis 29:20 “So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her”
Genesis 29:26-27 “Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. 27 Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”
The Bible is not saying polygamy is the heart of God
First problem – Father-in-law is a jerk
Genesis 31:6-7 “You know that I’ve worked for your father with all my strength, 7 yet your father has cheated me by changing my wages ten times. However, God has not allowed him to harm me.”
Second problem – Rachel isn’t having kids
Genesis 30:1-2 “When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”
2 Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?”
What do you do if your spouse doesn’t look or act the way you want them to look?
John Gottman “People can change only if they feel that they are basically liked and accepted the way they are. When people feel criticized, disliked, and unappreciated, they are unable to change. Instead they feel under siege and dig in to protect themselves”.
1 – Have you changed in a way that you might not have noticed, but others have
2-3 – Have there been changes in circumstances? Big or small, Good or bad
4-5 – Do changes in your spouse conflict with your needs, desires, priorities or goals?
6-7 – Do you feel deceived, tricked, lied to, duped?
Major thing that you talked about before you were married and now your spouse has changed their mind
8-9 – Have changes radically impaired your relationship or put it at risk?
10 – Do you feel scared or unsafe
Third problem – Different spiritual beliefs
Love:
- Loves when things are going your way
- Loves when things are going someone else’s way
- Loves when someone changes
Healthy relationships can:
- Communicate through change
- Honor and respect during change
- Choose to love no matter the circumstances
