Marriages from the Bible – Elkanah and Hannah
Marriages from the Bible – Elkanah and Hannah
1 Samuel 1:1-2 “There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite[a] from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none”
1 Samuel 1:3-7 “Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the Lord. 4 Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb. 6 Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year”
There are three responses that are common when someone is hurting you:
- Hurt back
- Become the victim and develop poor self-identity issues
- Turn to God for your strength
1 Samuel 1:7-8 “This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”
Hannah is getting – DEPRESSED
What do you do when you have expectation in a relationship (Or life) and they are not met?
Unrealistic expectations:
- Many unrealistic expectations are ones that people don’t communicate
- They expect their partners to read their minds
- If they love me they should treat me this way
- We have been together long enough – They should know better
Examples of unrealistic expectations:
- Your spouse is responsible for your happiness
- The person you married will never change
- All of your time should be spent together
- Your way is the right way
- Your spouse should mirror what is important to you
How to handle expectations (Ways to communicate):
- When you do _________________I feel ______________________
1 Samuel 1:9-11 “Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. 10 In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”
Why at Shiloh?
Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”
1 Samuel 1:21-23 “When her husband Elkanah went up with all his family to offer the annual sacrifice to the Lord and to fulfill his vow, 22 Hannah did not go. She said to her husband, “After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the Lord, and he will live there always.” 23 “Do what seems best to you, her husband Elkanah told her.”
Simple miscommunications can create significant barriers in a marriage. These barriers are often created by unmet expectations
Here is my challenge, Love more expect less
Effective ways to communicate:
- Write things down
- Look each other eye to eye
- Have a scheduled time
Ineffective ways to communicate:
- While watching tv
- With other people over
- When one is tired or overwhelmed
- When it is nagging or criticizing or not safe
