I had a great time with the men this weekend at the Men’s Retreat. I want to bring back some of our discoveries and share them with the ladies! We talked about “Building a House”. Unfortunately women do a better job than most men at this task. Of course I am not talking an actual house, but building the “house” of a Family.
1. His needs/ Her needs
- Do you realize that men and women think differently from one another?
- They feel differently.
- They have different values, goals and needs!
Top 5 needs of women
- Emotional support
- Financial Security
- Good parenting of children
The Bible instructs men on how to treat their wives.
- Ephesians 5: 25-28 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansingher by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 🙂
In 1 Peter 3:7 we see the sacrificial love that men are to show towards their wives:
- Fellow partners in the life of Christ
Top 5 needs of men
- Be respected
- Physical fulfillment
- Have her confidence
- Her trust
- Her laughter
A guy needs to be free to be a guy. He needs to be the man.
- Don’t nag him (Not respectful or trusting)
- Don’t control him (Not giving him your confidence)
- Don’t try to change him (Not letting him be a man)
- Obey master with respect, fear and sincerity.
- Serve wholeheartedly as if you were serving the Lord.
- Lord rewards everyone for whatever good he does, whether slave or free.
DO WE GET OUR NEEDS MET FIRST BEFORE WE MEET THEIR NEEDS?
2. Building plans
Luke 14: 28-30
What plans have you put in place for the building of your family?
In the church there is a saying that the man is the spiritual head of the household.
What should the woman do if her husband does not take up this role?
IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE YOUR MAN
- You might try to tear down something that is characteristic of being a man. GOD MIGHT NOT WANT YOU TO TEAR IT DOWN.
- You end up breaking down your husband or driving a wedge between you.
- Encourage him in his relationship with Christ.
- DON’T TRY TO MAKE HIM LIKE A WOMAN.
B. Love him for who he is
- When people are loved they feel safe to be vulnerable.
- 1 Peter 3:1-2 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
- Love with your actions more than your words.
C. Point your family to Christ
3. Construction plans
This weekend we made a blueprint of how to create a safe and healthy atmosphere within a family that promotes spiritual maturity.
Foundation – Is Christ
- Jesus is the foundation
- Ephesians 2:20-22
- Jesus and His word are what we are to build our families upon.
- Physical – Protect and serve
- Emotional – Be attentive, courteous, gentle and listen (James 1:19)
- Spiritual – Praying and encouraging of God’s Word
- Parental – Be a good parent
Roof – Humility
- Humility needs to cover all that we do.
- Don’t need to win or be right.
- Need to serve and build others up.
Proverbs 25:28 “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control.”